The greener grass

Ashamed, confounded, befuddled, and weary are the offspring of the desire to be number one–or at least in the top 10. But how else will I live out my purpose? There was a time, I hardly cared what people thought or how I ranked but that was before it was tied to my livelihood and the livelihood of my family.  Unfortunately, the desire to do good so easily gets tainted with accolades and bonus money. Even more exasperating is the constant comparison of working vs. staying at home and my duty as a black female professional. If I could just be a white male stay at home “mom” like Charles. He stays at home with the kids while perfecting a craft beer recipe. I have no idea why he battles with depression.

It’s the voice of a great man that personifies my plight to better with the clarion call “Jane, stop this crazy thing!”

But I continue. I continue to run ashamed, confounded, befuddled and weary for that greener grass all the while knowing, better is the enemy of good.

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