Romans 12:2New International Version (NIV)
2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
If you’re embarking on this with me, you are likely noticing not just how much you complain but also how much others complain. I expect this to heighten and did some researching to find out ways to deal with this. It’s amazing how a habit can become so foreign in someone else once you’re “free” of it. As stated on Day 2, a way to rid yourself of complaining is to avoid complainers but that’s impossible to do all the time. Also, those of us who are “natural critiques” need a way to channel our gifting in productive ways. Natural critiques are needed people and let’s call them Analyzers. That has a much better and more scientific ring to it. Can you tell I’m one of them?
Regardless, of your nature, work to transform complaints into contributions, and build the “contribution capital” of the person who is complaining. (Yes, you should do this to yourself if you’re the complainer. As a matter of fact, it’s the best place to start.)The person who complains at least cares enough to complain and keep in mind the combination of hidden value and hidden caring. The next time a complaint arises, either internally or externally, turn the situation around by using this workaround formula:
1) Acknowledging the person for caring.
2)“What can I/you imagine this looking like if it worked better? Maybe not perfect, but at least better?”
3) The most vital question: “What could I/you do that would make a difference that requires no one’s permission other than my/your own?”
This may seem formidable depending on the complaint. However, you’re not looking for something that is “perfectionally correct,” just something that is “directionally correct.”
The goal of this workaround approach is to get the person moving, to get the issue moving. Once something is moving, it is a heck of a lot easier to steer toward the target. Staying dead stuck in complaint is only going to build more hurdles to improvement, so let’s get going. We can build on improvement a whole lot easier than we can build on negativity and criticism.
*adapted from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/russell-bishop/workarounds-how-to-overco_b_815779.html