Day 11 – When you’re married to your thorn …


2 Corinthians 12:8-9 New King James Version (NKJV)

8 Concerning this thing [thorn] I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. 9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” 

Well hello Beloved,

As you can see from the title, I have put my big girl pants on! You have no doubt heard about or experienced first hand the labor involved with marriage. The fear of this labor has led many to remain unmarried. The experience of this labor has led many to flee.

And then there’s the rest of us.

We’re in it and determined – most days or maybe just some days. Nevertheless, we’re in it. Many have documented there are three aspects of marriage that cause the most turmoil – communication, sex, and finance. Today, I’m just going to focus on communication. I have a pearl to share with you that hopefully helps you complain less or stop complaining altogether with how your spouse communicates.

We’ve often heard the very things that attracted us to our spouse are what serve as repellent in later years.

Her ability to listen becomes “Why don’t you talk to me?”

Her ability to speak her mind turns into  “I wish she would shut up!”

His outgoing nature and ability to make friends with anyone becomes “I wish he wasn’t so friendly with everyone, especially other women.”

His ability to save money turns into “I wish he wasn’t so cheap!”

What’s initially seen as a complement to our nature becomes a thorn. Thankfully, there’s an explanation for the pain and how to escape it in Mark 10.

Mark 10:6-9 New King James Version (NKJV)

6 But from the beginning of the creation, God ‘made them male and female.’ 7 ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, 8 and the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Did you see it? I’ve often erroneously thought the “let not man separate” applied to an outside person but most successful thwarts are inside jobs. Who is on the inside? – the husband and wife. How do they separate? By assuming the posture of being two instead of one.

For too long, I wasted time and energy being upset that my husband didn’t see the concerns I saw. I questioned his methods when they didn’t make sense to me. What I forgot to realize was that we are one flesh.

If I think it, he doesn’t have to.

If he and I have the same thoughts, feelings, concerns, we’ll eventually see no need to come together. I won’t need his input and vice versa. We would function independently of one another with no need for the other because what the spouse offers the other already has. In other words, we would live as two.

But marriage is a beautiful gift.

It’s a gift of sharing one’s life with another in complementary fashion not supplementary fashion.

It’s a + not =

At times, the conflicting natures feel like a thorn but in it there’s grace and strength. The more I accept this the less I complain.

Be well, Beloved. Be well!

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