Place in line


I’ve been standing here forever! So many people showed up! I don’t care. There’s this guy I want to see. They call him Jesus and say He can perform miracles. They say He speaks like no other Jew. They say He’s the Son of God. Well, I’m not sure if all that’s true but I want to find out if it is. I mean I’m blessed. I have many cattle, sons, daughters, and land. I keep the law and remember the Sabbath. I’m in good standing with God. But they say this guy is here to fulfill the law just like the prophet Isaiah said. If he does, I won’t have to mete out every grain and spice. My life would be much simpler. I wouldn’t have to worry if he’ll strike me down for messing up.

No more comparing my efforts and offerings to others.

No more worrying about fairness.

I can have peace in my dealings. Peace in my days and nights. I lose so much sleep worrying. Boy, do I worry! I worry about those sons and daughters. I worry about if I really am keeping the law.

Wait a minute! Is that a woman walking about? Oh no! Is that a Gentile trying to get in? Neither have a place here. Neither have a place in this line. And look at that guy being carried by his friends. There’s no way they can get him in here. What were they thinking?! He’s obviously not been following the law or he wouldn’t be in that sad state. His parents probably don’t keep the law either. None of them deserve to get in here.

Oh, good the line is moving. I was starting to worry I wouldn’t get in and have a seat. I’ve been waiting and for that I should get a seat right in front. Maybe God’s blessing me for keeping His laws.

Time elapses and Jesus begins to teach. The narrator has a seat up front and is thoroughly enjoying himself.

Crack! CRACK! CRAAACK! What is going on up there on the roof? Is that the guy being carried? Those fools are lowering him from the roof!

Mark 2:11-12 King James Version (KJV)

[Jesus says to him] 11 Arise, and take up thy bed, and go thy way into thine house.

Jesus looks at him with compassion and heals him.  

12 And immediately he arose, took up the bed, and went forth before us all; insomuch that we are all amazed, and glorified God, saying, we’ve never seen love like this before.

I’m glad I can see it up close but just being here is enough. That man is being blessed for his faith and his friends’ faith. He has good friends.

Friends who don’t care about a place in line.

They gave of themselves so their friend could have a place in eternity. I want to give up my place in line obtained by lawful deeds. I want to simplify.

I want to receive His love and I want to give it away.

Be well, Beloved!




img_1954I along with many have suffered significant loss in this highly eristic year. So, I write this afflatus poem using two of my “go to” scriptures: Matthew 5:4 New International Version (NIV) Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted and Psalm 30:5 (NIV) Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. Please be sure to click on the hyperlinked words/phrases and be well, Beloved.

Blessed are they that mourn
Lost loved ones to the Light
Black and Blue lives forlorn
> 2,000,000 voters silenced by right
Friend and Family relations worn
“Unfriending” at all new height
Refugees from their homeland torn
Tolerance treated as blight
Pipeline worries during Thanksgiving shorn
Biggest addictions are pride and fright
Social justice sounds the horn
While glass cliffs and ceilings sit tight
Don’t worry about the scorn
Though weeping may endure for a night
Joy comes in the morn
We shall be comforted keeping Him in sight

Dealing with Disappointment


In honor of Mother’s Day, today’s post is a composition of writings from my family. It may seem inappropriate to post about dealing with disappointment around a day of celebration but hopefully it’s more helpful than off-putting. 


My response

Helping open and/or grow clinics only to have all those efforts forgotten, dismissed, or even resented has been a big disappointment for me. These disappointments have shown me that the most important things in life never change, such as God’s love, mercy, and grace. I have a wonderful supportive husband, resilient children, and a gift of successfully starting or pulling things out of failure. These disappointments have forced me to rely more on God and draw closer to Him. 

In my life, He is digging up pride, self reliance, and my false notion that I have to constantly strive for better. He is replacing those things with relationship. NOTHING is more important than relationship. 

Philippians 3: 7-9 (MSG)             Because of Christ. Yes, all the things I once thought were so important are gone from my life. Compared to the high privilege of knowing Christ Jesus as my Master, firsthand, everything I once thought I had going for me is insignificant—dog dung. I’ve dumped it all in the trash so that I could embrace Christ and be embraced by him.I didn’t want some petty, inferior brand of righteousness that comes from keeping a list of rules when I could get the robust kind that comes from trusting Christ—God’s righteousness.

Don’t get me wrong, He is calling us higher, but He wants us to know promotion comes from Him and we’re to merely walk this life out in faith and ENJOY! 
2 Timothy 1:9-10 (MSG)             We can only keep on going, after all, by the power of God, who first saved us and then called us to this holy work. We had nothing to do with it. It was all his idea, a gift prepared for us in Jesus long before we knew anything about it. But we know it now. Since the appearance of our Savior, nothing could be plainer: death defeated, life vindicated in a steady blaze of light, all through the work of Jesus.

Today I realized that my favorite vacation spot is in His presence, followed closely by being in my husband’s arms. 



14 yo daughter

One thing in my life that has been a disappointment is what feels like constant moving. Even though having to move has been a tough experience, it has helped me adapt to new people and new places. It has taught me that whatever environment you’re in there will always be the same types of people and same situations. It’s helped me mature and strengthened my relationship with my family. I believe God has put this in my life to help me learn how build relationships and adapt to new environments. This has brought me closer to trusting God with any issues I have, since He has always been a constant.


11 yo daughter

One thing that was a disappointment that happened in my life was moving away from Gastonia. I pictured myself and my family living there until John went to college or longer. I loved my friends and they loved me, my teachers were nice, and my experiences there were amazing. The last place I want to go and think I would go is were I am today and that just says to expect the unexpected.

Husband’s response

Disappointment – I didn’t get into medical school the first two times I applied.  I was rejected by about 14 medical schools in all.  I wasn’t sure if I would ever be a doctor for a few years.  I ended up doing a lot of other things that helped me grow.  If I had been accepted the first two times, I might not have met Mayisha and we may not have ever had 3 awesome children.

God has given me a new direction in life both with our great family and my job.  With the family I am to give thematic and direct guidance as a vehicle for wisdom in a manner that brings balance and harmony to their souls.  At work I have a job that directly impacts over 80,000 lives and indirectly impacts 100,000s.  If I think too much about how a mistake that I could make may end up causing harm to them, I get nervous. 

So, in both family and work, I ask God to guide my walk and show others and myself the journey of a thousand smiles.  Inside your heart is the calming hug of God, he is touching us . . . Let’s embrace the love.


How do you approach and deal with disappointment?